Reviews. Movie reviews. Of movies I haven't seen.

Reviews. Movie reviews. Of movies I haven't seen.

I decided that I was going to review movies I haven't seen. So without further adieu, this is...

Kaboom Atomic on:

Avatar: The last Air Bender: "What's the 'M' stand for?, night is the dark part of the day, and shamalamading-dong is a lyric from a song in 1956.

The Sorcerer's Apprentice: Hey, white people, wanna get out of the ghetto? Oh wait, you were never in one. So I guess you should use your magic to impress each other with fireballs.

Salt: Funny thing about this condiment, makes you thirsty for a plot.

Kisses: Haven't seen a trailer, haven't seen a poster, haven't seen a reason to waste money on this. Haven't kissed a woman in a long time.

Cats and Dogs: The revenge of kitty galore: Shitty galore.

Robin Hood: I wish instead of RUSSELL crow it was an ACTUAL crow and movie was about stealing fries from a BK parking lot and giving it (in the form of poop) to the sidewalk.

Shrek forever after: You know how you keep ethnics in movies without losing funding from several oil companies? You make them animated animals.

Sex in the city 2: Seen hotter milfs on intervention.

Nightmare on Elm Street: Oh man. They REALLY respect their die hards. I can't wait til they redo Jason X.

Drug Addict.

Prince of Persia: The sands of time: There's this new video game movie about a prescription pill-popping, cherry eating, yellow circle who chases ghosts.

The Karate Kid: Magine a black kid, who's obviously already good at sports and crime, who takes away the only thing that makes you scared of an asian person without a weapon. Unfair.